When the excitement of a new relationship wears off, it’s common for both people to feel

  • undervalued and ignored.
  • The other person in the relationship either doesn’t give a damn or is just complacent.
  • Aching for a partner who can meet your needs?

So, you might find that you and your partner have recurring arguments that go something like this:

So many times, I’ve asked you to [insert household task]. If you want to do it, why don’t you just do it?

It’s like I’m talking to the wall.

Everyone always says, “You never put down your phone.”

You are so self-centered that we have to say it:

You and your pals went out last weekend, right?

Interestingly, these fights are not about a) doing chores, b) going out with friends, c) talking on the phone, or d) being selfless; rather, they are about feeling uncared for and unimportant to your partner. It’s possible that you and your significant other speak different “love languages,” which could explain why you’re having this experience so frequently. A couple can grow closer together and have fewer fights if they learn and use each other’s “love languages.”

The Five Love Languages

  • service activities. Actions are taken because of the anticipation of a positive reaction from one’s partner. This could include anything from preparing a meal to emptying the dishwasher to running an errand to making a repair.
  • Affirming Words Complimenting or praising someone verbally You make me laugh all the time, and you look absolutely stunning today. These are both examples of this.
  • Touching someone physically, feelings of closeness and affection, possibly including physical contact. Some people’s primary love language is physical touch, and those who don’t receive it often report feeling lonely and unloved.
  • The Joy of Opening Presents Sending someone a present demonstrates that they are on your mind and that you care enough about them to make an effort. The tokens of affection you give to your loved one serve as constant reminders of their value to you.
  • Having Some Good Old-Fashioned Fun Spending time alone with your significant other, such as on a walk, a day trip, or a romantic dinner

Couples who don’t share a common language of affection risk misinterpreting one another’s actions and feeling neglected. Feelings of unappreciation can deepen the resulting rift in the relationship. If you want to show your partner how much you care, you need to learn their “love language” so you can reciprocate their expressions of affection.

Therefore, it’s important to ask yourself, “What love languages do you speak?” In addition, what is your loved one’s “love language”?